Mindset: The New Psychology of Success(Carol S. Dweck)
1. Life Is Yours
"It is your chosen perspective that determines whether you can become the person you want to be and realize the value of your life." Mobile e-book: 27p
Even when faced with the same situation, everyone reacts differently. I believe that life's outcomes are ultimately determined by our own choices. I think our current state is a result of our past choices. For instance, writing this book review is a consequence of my past decision to read the book. And my improving writing skills (though still lacking) are a combination of past writing experiences before starting the blog, plus the experience of writing more and more since starting the blog. This has led to the current result where I can now quickly write a book review in 1-2 hours (and marking important lines while reading helps reduce time spent on quotes).
Similarly, your current state is a product of your accumulated past experiences, efforts, and trials and errors. No one is good from the start. Whatever choice you make, if you want to live that way, then that's how you live.
Even after reading my post, there will be countless reactions and individual choices: some will buy the book, some will ignore it, some will just read the text, some will criticize it, and some will like it. How you choose to spend your time in life will shape your future.
2. Talent Alone Doesn't Make You the Best
"Most people believe that 'talent' is ability itself. But in reality, endless curiosity and a challenging spirit cultivate talent." Mobile e-book: 194p
I believe that innate talent alone cannot make you number one. For example, let's assume there's a genius composer. Even for them, the process of continuous composition through their talent is practice, and they won't always write successful songs. Good results come only when you constantly hone your talent; you can't compose the best songs by just sitting idly.
Another example: there might be someone with incredible composing ability who remains unknown because they never realized their talent. I believe this happens because they didn't practice their talent or test their abilities.
Therefore, while talent is an ability, you can never reach the top if it's not accompanied by practice, challenges, and trial-and-error experiences. Of course, I believe that even without talent, extensive practice can lead you to the top.
3. There's No Such Thing as a Soulmate
"If two people in love thought exactly alike, there would be no need for communication between them. You could simply guess your partner's thoughts based on your own." Mobile e-book: 434p
You might think, 'This person is exactly who I've dreamed of all this time.' However, I believe that's an illusion, and it's simply evidence that your partner is adjusting to you. Even if thoughts are similar, it's impossible to think exactly alike in every situation. Even twins, born the same and having similar experiences, will have different personalities. If someone who has lived a completely different life for 20-30 years is exactly like me, that's an even bigger problem. Since you're not living with a robot or a fan, if everything in your marriage unfolded exactly as you wished, it would be an illusion.
That's why there's a saying: marriage should be with someone who looks in the same direction and acts accordingly. This is because having the same objective helps partners have similar thoughts and actions. For example, if a husband wants children but his wife doesn't, there will clearly be conflict. So, if a husband and wife share the goal of having children when they marry, there will be less conflict.
In this way, when dating, meeting someone who shares the same objectives as you is the closest you can get to feeling like you're with a soulmate. Of course, even with such a well-matched person, you'll still need to constantly communicate, argue, compromise, and make choices to continue growing together.
4. Just as Bitter Medicine Is Good for You, Overly Sweet Praise Can Be Poison
"Children need honest and constructive feedback. The more you try to 'protect' a child from it, the further they move away from 'learning.'" Mobile e-book: 517p
Our children are incredibly lovely, and we naturally want to cherish and protect them. However, we must realize that misguided praise or encouragement can actually be poisonous. For example, imagine a child who studied hard for an exam but received a bad grade. Parents might praise them for their effort or say "good job." Or they might blame the teacher for making the test too difficult, or attribute the poor performance to someone making noise during the exam. They might also make excuses like, "You're smart, you'll do well quickly," or "You have the ability, but your luck wasn't good this time."
Parents might tell these kinds of lies to protect their child's feelings, blaming others or covering up their child's abilities. However, a child raised hearing such things is likely to attribute future outcomes to ability or others' faults, rather than effort.
Therefore, I believe it's better to be honest and say, "Although your effort didn't yield the results you wanted this time, others worked harder than you to get their scores. If you work harder than them, you can also achieve better grades."
In my experience, I "failed" my first college entrance exam, "acknowledged" my abilities, and "worked hard," which resulted in a scholarship to a local university. For me, failure was a new "opportunity," a time for "self-awareness," and I learned that I "can do anything" if I try.
5. Have a Goal to Learn Continuously
"The world is not divided into strong and weak, or winners and losers. It is only divided into those who want to learn and those who do not." Mobile e-book: 57p
From birth, humans learn many things: language, writing, behavior, personality, emotions, reason, and so on. This applies not only to newborns but also to adults. Adults often feel stuck in a rut, living the same life every day, but in reality, if you look closely, we are learning countless pieces of information every day through conversations, news, dramas, games, and books. We often learn something due to external influence, but sometimes we learn by simply thinking about information we've acquired, or by planning to do something differently next time even after repeating the same action.
Thus, humans are animals who cannot live for a moment without learning from the moment they are born. If you adopt an attitude of not accepting the vast amount of information available, you will find yourself stagnating. If we must learn anyway, acknowledging and embracing it with an attitude of constant gratitude for new knowledge, I believe we can experience our own growth.
6. There's No Perfect Success, And It's Okay to Fail
"Failure is merely something to face and deal with, and a problem from which to learn." Mobile e-book: 110p
Everything we use in our daily lives—smartphones, clothes, food, and so on—wasn't created with a single success. Countless trials and errors led to their current form, and as time passes, products that improve on existing flaws are bound to emerge. In this way, even if something fails, if you fix and recreate it, it becomes something new.
As for me, I've been continuously refining the direction and method of my writing, leading to the temporary completion of my current writing style. However, I'm still working to refine and develop it further to write even better.
There is no such thing as perfect success. Your current ability allows for success up to this point, and further successes are continually waiting for us.
7. A Tower Built with Effort Doesn't Collapse
His educational motto is 'There are no shortcuts.' Similarly, Collins tells his students: "There's no magic to learning. I'm not a miracle worker. I can't walk on water or part the sea. I just love you and work harder than anyone else. And you can too." Mobile e-book: 561p
When studying, simply sitting for a long time doesn't mean you'll study well. A large amount of information must be transformed into your own memories and experiences to become true learning and knowledge. Countless pieces of information are scattered across the internet. However, most people probably couldn't "create" this information themselves if asked. In that sense, if you can't write down information and produce it yourself, it's not truly your knowledge.
I believe that improved academic performance is the result of integrating accumulated experience, memory, and knowledge. Cramming or last-minute tutoring only create temporary effects and cannot become your own true knowledge. If you steadily build your knowledge step by step, various elements will combine to create a definite synergy effect. I don't believe that going fast is always good.
8. Examine Yourself and Change
"Many people with a fixed mindset believe that the world, not they themselves, should change. They feel entitled to a better job, a nicer house, a more wonderful spouse. They think the world should recognize their specialness and treat them accordingly." Mobile e-book: 619p
People tend to curse the world, lament their situations, and blame others. Of course, I sometimes exhibit this tendency too. However, ultimately, if you don't change yourself, nothing will change.
For example, let's say you want to be in a relationship. First, you need to increase your opportunities to meet women/men. But if you just stay home waiting for blind dates arranged by others, and lament, "I'm perfect, why isn't anyone approaching me?", nothing will happen. If you join clubs, meet friends of friends, or increase your chances of meeting people of the opposite sex, results will eventually come.
There's something called the "first impression effect." While first impressions tend to last, humans often change their impressions as they continue to meet someone and see new sides of them. Also, you should examine your own state and adjust to trends to be more appealing to the opposite sex. For example, in Europe, it's common for men to grow beards, but in Korea, many dislike beards. This means that each country or social group has its own trends. If you examine yourself and change according to these trends, you might become more attractive to others in that group.
I believe that constantly examining yourself and your environment, and adapting accordingly, will have a positive impact on you.
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