Emile, ou de l'éducation(Jean-Jacques Rousseau)

 

1. A Father Should Be the Tutor of His Own Household

Just as a mother is truly the one who should nourish a child, a father is truly the one who should be the child's tutor. Parents must agree on their parenting styles and respective roles. A young child should be passed from the mother's hand to the father's. Although a father's knowledge may be inferior to the world's most competent teacher, it is better for a discerning father to educate his child. (Mobile e-book: 92p)

When considering the father's role while a mother carries a child for ten months, gives birth, breastfeeds, and raises the child, I believe, as Rousseau suggests in the book, that the father should become the tutor of his own family. A household is created by the father and his wife, and rather than entrusting it to other professionals, the goal should be for the father to learn more and become a proper teacher for his child. Educational institutions can handle a child's schooling, but what we refer to as 'home education' takes place in the home. Eating meals together (eating habits), sleeping (sleep habits), going out to play (extroversion/introversion), learning various habits and speech patterns, and handling situations are all learned far more effectively at home than in an educational institution.

When a child grows up and looks for a spouse, I believe the role of parents is certainly significant. To maintain the atmosphere they grew up in, children tend to seek partners similar to their own parents. Therefore, home education is extremely important and should not be solely borne by the wife. I believe the father's role is also crucial in watching the child grow together and helping them become a well-rounded individual.

2. To Overcome a Child's Fears, Use 'Systematic Desensitization'

Initially, show them the objects they fear little by little from a distance until they become familiar with them. Then, show others touching them, and eventually, let the child touch them directly. (Mobile e-book: 155p)

To overcome fears, there is a method called 'systematic desensitization.' For example, if a child is afraid of tigers, you repeatedly show the child pictures or drawings of tigers from a distance. Once they become accustomed to that, you tell stories related to tigers, then familiarize them with tiger sounds, let them touch something that feels like tiger fur, and ultimately, they will no longer be afraid when they see a tiger. If a child has a specific fear, this method involves slowly increasing the frequency of exposure to allow the child to adequately adapt. It takes a lot of time, but consistent effort can yield significant results.

3. If a Child's Speech is Unclear, Don't Be Impatient; Parents Should Speak More Clearly

Always use precise language in front of your child, and make sure your child enjoys being with you more than anyone else. Then, your child will naturally speak correctly by imitating your language, even without you correcting them. (Mobile e-book: 191p)

I believe the parents' role is paramount in helping a child speak well. While children can learn at educational institutions, ultimately, they spend a lot of time at home when they are young. At home, children first learn their parents' speech, and through conversations with their parents, other family members, and friends, they listen to everything and imitate it exactly. I am often surprised when my 36-month-old first child perfectly imitates my or my wife's speech patterns. Children are a reflection of their parents. We must always be careful with our words when we are with children and use correct and precise language so that they can imitate us. If correct speech patterns are maintained, the child will naturally grow up to speak properly.

4. When Each Parent Fulfills Their Role Properly, the Home is Peaceful

The charm of harmonious family life is the best antidote to bad habits. Even the children's noisiness, which was once bothersome, becomes pleasant, and as a result, the father and mother need and cherish each other more, deepening their marital affection. (Mobile e-book: 80p)

Children are happy when their parents are happy. So, how can couples be happy? I believe this depends on each household. The wife will have what she truly desires, and the husband will also have his genuine aspirations. If each of them harmonizes and fulfills these desires, the love poured into the child will be stable, leading to a happy family.

A couple's educational philosophy for their child must be consistent, and the child will grow up more appropriately by observing their parents' consistent attitude. It is absolutely impossible to provide proper education for a child if there is no harmony between the parents. Children are quick-witted and only look to their parents, so they instantly pick up on even minor disputes or the atmosphere between them. No matter how much they try to hide it, it's futile. Therefore, I believe that true love between a couple is the only way for children to be happy.

5. A Modern Rebuke to Parents: 'Money Isn't Everything'

But what of the wealthy father, who, by his own account, is too busy to care for his children? He buys people with money and shifts the responsibility that is rightfully his. O base soul who believes money is everything! Do you think you can buy a father for your children with money? Make no mistake. What you buy for your children is not a teacher, but an employee. He will soon raise your son to be a second employee. (Mobile e-book: 96p)

This seems to perfectly illustrate the lives of modern couples. It's similar to modern society, where people earn money for their children's education and prefer learning from educational institutions rather than from the parents themselves. It's truly unfortunate that even after 300 years, humans continue to repeat the same behaviors.

Children today go to daycare from 8 or 9 AM and 'leave work' at 4 PM or even 7 PM, just like their parents. It seems incredibly tough that young children live lives identical to adults. Even for us adults, every day is difficult, but we can see that the lives of newly born children are also not easy. Of course, our first child also started daycare recently. However, we homeschooled for 36 months, and now she is in the adaptation phase for daycare. After about a week, I feel a sense of pride seeing her become more independent, but I also wonder if she is being exposed to the world too early. Children learn and adapt quickly. While I see this era as one where children quickly become 'little adults,' I also hope that children can grow up like children.

6. Education That Doesn't Create Any Habits is Best for a Child

The only habit a young child should be taught is to not acquire any habits. The child should not be held more on one arm than the other, nor should one hand be extended or used more frequently than the other. (Mobile e-book: 153p)

While innate temperament and abilities exist, I believe a child is capable of becoming anything. Therefore, I think that if children are raised in a home where they are only directed towards a specific path by their parents, they will be unable to develop. It is important to respect a child's opinions and thoughts and to provide them with various experiences to educate them to think more broadly and move in the right direction.

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