Bringing Up Bebe(Druckerman, Pamela)

 1. You have to set your own standards.

The important thing is not that 'anything is allowed' but that 'you have to be calm and discerning'. Unlike me, French mothers distinguish between what is almost certainly harmful and what is dangerous only when infected.

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When pregnant, most people say this is not allowed and that is not allowed, and in the US and Korea, they list a long list of prohibited items for pregnant women, and there are many opinions on the Internet that they are not allowed.

However, in France, it seems that pregnant women are more likely to be stable and comfortable.

Rather than saying that they are not allowed, they say that if they want to eat something, it is okay to eat a small amount in a clean and good place.

In the US and Korea, most people's lives are centered on children, but in France, they are centered on couples and families.

I personally think that it is better to make pregnant women feel more comfortable rather than stressing them out by saying that everything is not allowed.

2. Recognize that they are an object from the moment they are born.

"The first piece of advice I give is not to rush straight to the baby when he or she cries every night right after he or she is born. It means to let the baby calm down on his or her own, and not to react reflexively. Right after birth.

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In Korea and the US, people tend to treat their children with love, always take care of them, and respond immediately.

However, in France, they recognize the child as an object, and they respond by giving the child time to think for himself.

So the earliest period for a baby to sleep through the night is 2 months after birth, and 4 months is considered late.

It was a culture shock for me, and it made me think a lot while watching my second child, who is 4 months old but still breastfeeds every morning.

I remember my first child sleeping through the night only after he or she was about 10 months old.

If I had known about this book a little earlier, I could have read it with my wife and applied it from the time my first child was born, but it is too late to change my second child's method now, and since my first child may have a harder time sleeping, I will I think it is important to know.

If you are currently pregnant or planning to have a child, I recommend you read this book.

3. Discipline is education.

They believe that children will not become dictators who act as they please only if they are told 'no'. "At a young age, they basically have endless demands and desires. It is a very basic need. Parents exist to stop that process, and children naturally feel frustrated at this time."

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Since children do not yet know the rules of the world or the rules between people, they constantly test their parents to see if this is acceptable behavior or not.

So, they learn the rules and moderation within the family depending on the influence of their parents, and if they are not taught well, they will become dictators and selfish children.

I believe that children will grow up properly if parents teach them the rules that are allowed from a young age.

However, if they create a situation that is too restrictive, they may become mama's boys or papa's girls who only follow their parents' orders, so I think parenting is really difficult.

I think that it is important for couples to create rules together and educate their children well in order to give them autonomy and certain standards.

4. Is pre-learning good?

On the other hand, French parents do not seem to be anxious to give their children a head start. They do not push their children to learn reading, swimming, and math ahead of others. They do not poke their children in the side to tell them to become geniuses.

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It seems that both the US and Korea want their children to become geniuses.

Of course, I also want my child to be a genius.

However, I think we need to think about whether this greed is actually good for the child's life.

In any case, I think it is unknown whether a child will continue to be happy just because they are in a competitively superior position through pre-learning.

I think it may simply be the parents' greed.

I think that the sense of loss may be greater if the sense of superiority they felt as a child continues to lag behind as they get older. For example, if a child thinks, "I was always superior, but when I went out into society, I was nothing special," I think it could be a problem.

5. If the parents stand up straight, the child will stand up straight.

He explained that it starts from the belief that the child will feel secure if the parents are confident. "It's better to have someone who guides the way, that is, a leader. The child needs to feel that the mother or father is in control. There's a French proverb that says, 'It's easier to loosen a screw than to tighten it.' That means you have to be strict. If it's too tight, you can just loosen it up. But if you loosen it up too much, you'll end up forgetting how to tighten it up later.

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In the end, we can see that raising children means that parents need to educate them well for their children to grow up well.

Parents are the whole world to a child, and in order for that whole world to not be shaken, the couple needs to be strong and authoritative.

You need to teach your child autonomy, control, and education well, but I think that won't change unless the couple makes an effort.

It's the couple's role to decide what to draw on a blank sheet of paper, and the children are the ones who follow them, so I think it would be good for the couple to think carefully and decide together what kind of picture to draw and think about what would be helpful to the child.