Reflections on Becoming a Parent

 People cannot accurately understand the feelings or thoughts of others unless they experience it themselves. This is because, although the experience may be interpreted differently for them, they can still have similar experiences overall. There was something my parents always said. If you have a child, you will understand your parents’ position. Likewise, I was able to vaguely understand my parents’ feelings only after I had my own child. Since I am a man, I cannot accurately understand the feelings and thoughts of becoming a mother. This is because I cannot carry a child for 10 months and give birth to it. However, I would like to talk about what I have felt so far in the process of becoming a father.


1. Responsibility

- When you become pregnant, men naturally have a sense of responsibility. Even if you are married, I think the difference between having a child and not having a child is stark. When you are two, you only have to dream of your own future, but since you also think about the child’s future, you have to think about life even more. When you have a child, your family becomes more united, and you feel a great sense of responsibility for having a family. Your attitude toward parenting, finances, and life changes. As a first step, you can look at parenting books like anyone else, or study economics, stocks, real estate, and other fields. I think you can also do a lot of self-reflection and self-development. You can organize your dissolute life and be reborn as a new person. That's why I think becoming a parent is a good thing for both the individual and the family. Of course, I think it would be better if you prepare for it in advance.


2. The most altruistic and happy life

- Children can't do anything without their parents. They have to eat, wear clothes, go to the bathroom, and play with their parents. However, when you have a child, you feel infinite love rather than that, and when you look at the child's face, it's so cute and lovely. Can I be this altruistic to someone in my life? I think that's only possible for my own child. I vaguely thought I would be like that before I had a child, but I realized it even more when my whole family got COVID-19 early this year. Even though I have a fever and am sick from COVID-19, I feel like I don't feel sick because my child is sick. I even think that I would rather be sick instead. This is probably what grandparents feel when they say that their grandchildren are the apple of their eye. I wonder what it will feel like when I become a grandparent myself. And every word and action of a child brings laughter to the family. Not only the part where they roll over, the part where they walk, the part where they squeak, the part where they say a word, but also the way they eat, sleep, and act all make them laugh. It may not seem like much to some, but in their own family, every single child brings laughter and happiness to the family. I am so happy when I see my child and wife sleeping on a weekend morning. However, there may be minor arguments about parenting while raising a child. I think that is how a couple grows. We can have a lot of conversations about what we think about our children and how we should live in the future so that we can move forward in a clearer and better direction. 


3. Understanding my parents and wife

- The biggest thing I felt while raising a child is that I also went through this process and received a lot of love, and there must have been billions of kisses and hugs. Now, I am reflecting on myself for not expressing my affection to my parents. My wife always hugs my parents on the way home after visiting both sets of parents. I also hug them, and it feels good to hug my parents after a long time, and I am even more grateful to my wife because I haven’t hugged my parents in a while. So I think it’s good to at least hug my parents. I think it’s right for a child to show affection to their parents first to repay the love they’ve received. Also, when I saw my wife’s labor pains while giving birth, I felt sorry and grateful for my mother. I also thought that my parents must have put a lot of nails in my heart when I was young, since she had such a hard time giving birth. And my wife suffered from severe morning sickness. She suffered from morning sickness almost the entire time she was pregnant, so she had a hard time smelling and eating. If I were to compare it to men, it would be like drinking too much and vomiting for 10 months, so you might understand a little bit. After all the hardships and patience, the child born brought happiness to our family, and I always want to express my gratitude and endless love to my parents and wife.

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