We Need to Talk(Celeste Headlee)

 1. Learn to listen.


What my friend needed was not my advice or my story. She just needed someone to listen to her story.

mobile e-book: 32p


Everyone has something to teach me.

mobile e-book: 47p


There may be many situations, such as when friends ask for advice or when a wife is worried about something, but men’s typical reaction is to give advice and come up with solutions to solve the problem.

Of course, when I receive these worries, I try to persuade the other person by suggesting my own solution.

However, most of them know the answer to what they should do and rather than discussing with the other person whether this method is right, they think about this and want to act this way and ask for the other person’s agreement, or just want to tell their story.

So when they ask for advice, the way to have a smooth conversation is to just listen, and if the other person really wants a solution, it seems like a good idea to just listen until they ask.

Also, people who share their worries are not fools. Each person has different experiences, thoughts, and actions, so the method is different, but they also know what to do.

I know that psychiatrists listen to their patients' conversations more.

In reality, it's not that doctors give more advice, such as "do this or do that."

It seems that most people organize their thoughts while talking.

That's why I think we should always listen to other people's conversations.


2. Write my thoughts on a blog.


If you want to express your opinion clearly, write on a blog. However, if you want to have a conversation with someone, you should put your opinion aside, at least for a while.

Mobile e-book: 48p


I started a blog two years ago, and my initial purpose was to review my investments, record my reading, and write about my current situation or my experiences to my child. As I blog, I organize my thoughts about myself, and rather than rereading books I have read, I look back at my thoughts and see that unnecessary actions have decreased, and I have written my own book, and I feel proud of myself for having grown more than before.

I have also seen the miraculous effect of 'reading', which I had just written conceptually as a hobby on my resume, turning into a real hobby.

Also, I think it has many good effects because I can reflect on myself while rereading my past writings.

I used to pour out my complaints, worries, thoughts, and directions to my friends or others, and this also allowed me to experience a new catharsis.

I think it was a good idea to start because I got more results than my initial goal.

If you want to talk about your opinions or show off your knowledge, I think it is a good idea to write on your blog and share it with everyone.


3. Just listen.


It is the impulse to correct the mistakes in what the other person said.

Mobile e-book: 129p


As above, I tend to point out mistakes in what the other person said.

If there is a typo in a text or conversation, I tend to get caught up in the desire to constantly correct it.

Of course, the other person may have made a typo, and they may really not know, but I think that just leaving it alone is the way to not stop the conversation.

I myself have realized that the conversations I have had so far are not real conversations, and correcting them is just an act of pointing out others or showing off my knowledge.

I have decided to always think about what I have always said and review what I did wrong during the conversation.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

God delusion(Dawkins, Richard)

  1. It is the role of science to let us know the facts. Mystics rejoice in riddles and wish for them to remain mysterious. Scientists rejoice in riddles for a different reason: they give them something to do. mobile e-book: 320p In the past, humans practiced totemism, animism, and shamanism, offering sacrifices to improve the weather, performing rain rituals, or, as in the legend of mantou from the Romance of the Three Kingdoms where twenty head-shaped buns were offered to a river god to calm its waters, taking various measures to appease the wrath of gods through sacrifice. However, because science has developed, modern humans can now predict, to some extent, why weather phenomena like the rainy season and typhoons occur and where they will strike. We can even induce rain through artificial rain technology. Thus, when we are ignorant of the facts, things may seem miraculous and be seen as the work of gods, but once we know the facts, we can understand them. It seems that humani...
Read more

Parenting from the Inside Out(Daniel J. Siegel, Mary Hartzell)

  1. Let's Reflect on Ourselves "When you pay attention to your own experiences when you get angry at your child's behavior, you begin to realize how much your reactions have interfered with an ideal relationship with your children." (e-book p. 70) There are moments when I get particularly angry at a specific behavior of my child. I ask myself, "Why does this action make me so angry?" and "Why am I reacting so sensitively?" I reflect on whether I, too, received negative feedback for the same behavior in the past. By contemplating my anger and looking back at my past, I come to understand the root cause of my sensitivity to that particular action. I realize that my specific reactions are also responses stemming from past experiences. Therefore, to change my behavior, I must first acknowledge the origin of my reaction and then consider how to change. Through this process, I can restore my bond with my child and achieve deep self-reflection. My ingr...
Read more

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success(Carol S. Dweck)

  1. Life Is Yours "It is your chosen perspective that determines whether you can become the person you want to be and realize the value of your life." Mobile e-book: 27p Even when faced with the same situation, everyone reacts differently. I believe that life's outcomes are ultimately determined by our own choices. I think our current state is a result of our past choices. For instance, writing this book review is a consequence of my past decision to read the book. And my improving writing skills (though still lacking) are a combination of past writing experiences before starting the blog, plus the experience of writing more and more since starting the blog. This has led to the current result where I can now quickly write a book review in 1-2 hours (and marking important lines while reading helps reduce time spent on quotes). Similarly, your current state is a product of your accumulated past experiences, efforts, and trials and errors. No one is good from the start. Wha...
Read more