New Peoplemaking(Virginia Satir)

 1. You need to express your emotions.


Not expressing your emotions is a defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt again. To change this, you need to have a loving and persistent family or people around you who are with you for a long time, and you need to change your perception.

mobile e-book: 184p


There is something called 'hwabyung' that exists in Korea, Indonesia, and Malaysia.

Of course, I think there may be similar types of diseases in other countries, not just in Asia.

It is a form of depression, and a problem that occurs when emotions are not properly expressed.

Most Asian cultures developed based on agricultural societies, so everyone is accustomed to a culture where they do things together, eat the same things, and enjoy the same things.

That is why they pay a lot of attention to what others think and value harmony among members.

I don't think it is right to think that someone should maintain discipline in the family, or to unconditionally follow others, or to avoid responsibility.

I think that there is no need to express emotions while being aware of others, and if you keep building them up, there will be times when they explode. That is why it is important to create a home environment where family members can openly talk about their problems, stresses, and solutions without worrying about what others think.

I hope that all family members can express their emotions properly and grow together while talking about their problems, stresses, and solutions.


2. What men and women want


Women's hopes were generally that they would have a husband who loved, respected, and cared for them more than anyone else in the world, who felt happy to talk to them, who was always there for them, who gave them comfort and satisfaction, and who took their side when they were having a hard time. Most men said that they wanted a wife who had needs that they could fill, who liked their strength and body, who considered them a wise leader, and who was willing to help them when they asked. They also said that they wanted delicious food and satisfying sex.

mobile e-book: 217p


As you can see from the above quote, men and women have different wishes for marriage.

I think that it is up to the couple to recognize that each person's wishes are different and to decide how a family should function properly.

To quote Herb Cohen's Negotiation Skills 2, there is a phrase that says, 'Always think of yourself as a problem solver and seek creative alternatives that can satisfy the true interests and interests of both parties - mobile e-book: 87p'.

I think that what husbands and wives want in their own homes will certainly be different.

It is important to pursue the interests that each person wants and move in a good direction.

I think that being happy on one side is a half-baked answer, and although it is a little less satisfying, the right answer is to make small concessions and move in a direction where everyone is satisfied.

Of course, I also believe that the answer always exists.

My child will get married someday, and I hope that his or her spouse will be someone who can wisely manage his or her family.


3. There is no end to learning.


Even raising an apple tree requires knowledge. However, surprisingly, there are many couples who do not think that they need to have knowledge to raise a child.

mobile e-book: 245p


I always feel that while raising a child, although I know it in theory, it is different from practice. There are so many things to learn, such as the criteria for scolding, lots of praise, and active responses.

I think that being a parent is a job where you have to draw what life is for a child who is like a blank sheet of paper.

That is why parents themselves must be role models, know more, and pay a lot of attention to their actions and speech because children follow everything their parents do.

It is not simply that children grow, but that children grow according to how the family is run.

Just as beans grow where beans are planted, and red beans grow where red beans are planted, children grow according to what is planted in them.

That is why parents and children must continue to learn and share good things together and be happy.

Of course, there is no such thing as a happy family all the time, and we have to live while overcoming various difficulties together.

In the process, we have to grow together, understand each other, and move forward in a better direction.

That is why I want to continue to grow my family more.

I sincerely hope that all families can create happy families with good hearts.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

God delusion(Dawkins, Richard)

  1. It is the role of science to let us know the facts. Mystics rejoice in riddles and wish for them to remain mysterious. Scientists rejoice in riddles for a different reason: they give them something to do. mobile e-book: 320p In the past, humans practiced totemism, animism, and shamanism, offering sacrifices to improve the weather, performing rain rituals, or, as in the legend of mantou from the Romance of the Three Kingdoms where twenty head-shaped buns were offered to a river god to calm its waters, taking various measures to appease the wrath of gods through sacrifice. However, because science has developed, modern humans can now predict, to some extent, why weather phenomena like the rainy season and typhoons occur and where they will strike. We can even induce rain through artificial rain technology. Thus, when we are ignorant of the facts, things may seem miraculous and be seen as the work of gods, but once we know the facts, we can understand them. It seems that humani...
Read more

Parenting from the Inside Out(Daniel J. Siegel, Mary Hartzell)

  1. Let's Reflect on Ourselves "When you pay attention to your own experiences when you get angry at your child's behavior, you begin to realize how much your reactions have interfered with an ideal relationship with your children." (e-book p. 70) There are moments when I get particularly angry at a specific behavior of my child. I ask myself, "Why does this action make me so angry?" and "Why am I reacting so sensitively?" I reflect on whether I, too, received negative feedback for the same behavior in the past. By contemplating my anger and looking back at my past, I come to understand the root cause of my sensitivity to that particular action. I realize that my specific reactions are also responses stemming from past experiences. Therefore, to change my behavior, I must first acknowledge the origin of my reaction and then consider how to change. Through this process, I can restore my bond with my child and achieve deep self-reflection. My ingr...
Read more

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success(Carol S. Dweck)

  1. Life Is Yours "It is your chosen perspective that determines whether you can become the person you want to be and realize the value of your life." Mobile e-book: 27p Even when faced with the same situation, everyone reacts differently. I believe that life's outcomes are ultimately determined by our own choices. I think our current state is a result of our past choices. For instance, writing this book review is a consequence of my past decision to read the book. And my improving writing skills (though still lacking) are a combination of past writing experiences before starting the blog, plus the experience of writing more and more since starting the blog. This has led to the current result where I can now quickly write a book review in 1-2 hours (and marking important lines while reading helps reduce time spent on quotes). Similarly, your current state is a product of your accumulated past experiences, efforts, and trials and errors. No one is good from the start. Wha...
Read more